Turning The Other Cheek

PAULS LETTER TO THE ROMANS 12:17-21: Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

(Paul is quoting from Deut. 32:35 and Prov. 25:21,22)

In a recent post, I asked the question: is it ever wrong to turn the other cheek?

I came to this question after a run-in with a business associate a few weeks ago. I found no answer to the question, but I had determined that I would try to follow Paul's advice - who was repeating advice from Solomon and Moses who was in turn repeating a directive from God. Right or wrong I thought it sounded like a reasonable place to start. I would try to overcome hostility with kindness. The rougher it got, the thicker I would pour it on. And for a while it seemed to work.

But then it didn't.

A week ago this very night I made a routine call to this associate - who as it happens was doing work for me. Now I thought it would be a routine call. If I were a playwrite I would have filled this call with snappy dialogue and sharp sarcasm - but that isn't the way it went. Rather it was oddly repetitive.

Me: So just wanted to know when you will have this work done for my client...

Him: I can't tell you.

Me: Are you saying you cannot have it done this week?

Him: Yes, I cannot even look at it until Monday.

Me: Wow, the client will not be happy...(I'll abbreviate a bit) so I can tell him it will be done by Wednesday?

Him: No, I can't say that.

Friday?

I can't say that?

Next month? What am I supposed to tell the client?

Click. He hung up.

I was standing in front of the supermarket, I'd had a good day. A great day in fact - and this was not the way the call was supposed to go. He was supposed to give me a day he'd be done. I might have been happy or displeased and we might go back and forth, but he would give me a date in the near future. I would inform the client of that date. The work would be completed on that day. We would all get paid. Happy client. Happy supplier. Happy me.

But that wasn't going to happen!

One of the reasons I was happy was that I wasn't going to have to deal with this jerk anymore (I used a stronger word at the time). I would also have delivered on my commitments to the client. I would be proud of our work.

And now that was not going to happen.

I was dizzy. The rent was due - way past due - and it was almost the end of the next month already. These guys had already delayed the project by more than a month. But worse than that - he'd given me an answer that I could not take to the client. My options were few: lie and cover for this guy - risking my own hide in the process, inform the client and well and then what?

I decided I'd better get my shopping done. I entered the No Frills but kept stopping in each aisle to put my face in my hands. What was I going to do? I called a friend. What did you do to tick them off? she asked. Nothing. Maybe they figured out why God kept heaping burning coals on their heads! Well, you will have to go down and talk to them - you cannot handle something like this over the phone.

But what would we talk about? That conversation kinda said it all! It didn't explain anything but it laid out the few options that were left.

I kept running the scenarios of my client reacting to this news. They were expecting the project to be completed within a day or two. I had already ruled out lying. As a friend of mine said recently, I am certainly not going to burn in hell over a bag of dog-biscuits. (But that is another story ;-)

But all these ended terribly. Clients, like bosses HATE people who come to them with problems. They want solutions. But the only solution that was coming to me seemed far too drastic. But, dragging home my grocery cart I came to a complete halt a few doors from my apartment. I set down my bags and let the cart rest back on it's legs.

As much as I talk about God, I have never been able to talk to him very well. I always figured he had a lot on his mind. When I was a kid I was a Star Trek fan and a Catholic. I thought crossing yourself was like the Captain touching his chest and saying "Kirk to enterprise." Crossing yourself again was like "Kirk out". I went through months of anguish around the age of nine when it occurred to me that maybe I had forgotten to Kirk-out once. That would mean that everytime I meant to say "Kirk to enterprise" I was really closing the connection. But worse, when I finished the prayer, the second crossing was turning it back on. In other words God was listening to every thought until the next time I prayed - and when I prayed was the only time he didn't. The nuns weren't too sympathetic about that either!

But this time, I reacted more urgently and at a deeper level. I stood straight up and looked at the sky and thought "God, John (my best friend who died this summer), tomorrow I am going to have to call my client and advise them to fire these jerks before they commit anymore money to them. Things are about to get nasty. I know what I can do to make things right - but I cannot fix everything so I am giving the rest to you. I have no idea how this is going to go, but I can't worry about that. So that is where you come in.

Wow, that just happened like that. It was easy, and I felt better. I was still nervous - but my task just got tremendously smaller.

This isn't the whole answer of course, but here is why this question was easier for me. I'd be interested to hear what people think about this. These guys were continuing to be nasty with me - I'd been dealing with this for weeks and the "overcome evil with good" approach had been getting me through.

But this time, their actions were harming another (my client, and the poor project manager there who had her job review the following week). So the question was no longer, how do I repay bad treatment of me? It was how do I react to bad treatment of others. This answer came much easily - I have to do what is in my power to stop it.

But if I understand the reading correctly, and I THINK I do - then I must NOT react in anger, but with affection. That was going to be hard! And so I became resolved in what I had to do.

And I did it. What happened? That's a big story, and it isn't over - I will give you an update another day. Then I will look at - what if people don't like that you did the right thing - even if they were the ones that you did for. That entry will be brought to you by the words "denial" and "revenge".

Until then, listen to your heart speaking.